CBSE Lessons

---

---

CBSE Lessons

 CBSE Lesson One:

How can the examination be made tension free for the students?

Ans: Reveal the paper before the examination.

CBSE Lesson Two:

How can the cheating in examination be curtailed?

Leak the paper before the examination. The students will not find any need to indulge in cheating.

CBSE Lesson Three

Which is the better education Board? CBSE or Bihar State Secondary School Board.

Ans: Obviously CBSE board. CBSE does not encourage cheating. In order to check the cheating, it leaks the paper before the examination so that students do not indulge in cheating.

CBSE Lesson Four: NCERT must look in.

What is the bad effect of Facebook?

Ans: It sensitizes the young mind and encourages to learn to steal the examination papers. Later, they can be used to steal the data and sell them to best bidders.

CBSE Lesson Five: For the consideration of Ministry of External Affairs, Ministry of Defence and Ministry of Home Affairs

What is the role of Pakistan in Paper Leakage?

Ans: It is a Pakistan handlers training course. Firstly, Pakistan trains them by teaching how to arrange the paper leakage. Then, the successful candidates are used to leak the vital information of India.

CBSE Lesson Six

Which is the best unorthodox profession - Pakora Selling or Paper Leakage?

Ans: Paper Leakage is more honourable and paying profession. The government recognise your abilities by following you.

CBSE Lesson Seven: It is for Narinder and Amit only

What is the penultimate level of Skill India?

Ans: Leak the paper from a prestigious organisation before the commencement of an examination.

CBSE Appeal: Lesson Eight: It is meant for Chairman of the UPSC

Please try to leak the civil services prelims paper from the UPSC so that we can save our skin. Ethic and Moral: Brother in need, is Brother indeed. The bad days may fall on anyone. Stop the Press: The news reporters and news channels are going to debate on CBSE achievement until June 2018.

CBSE Lesson Nine: It is for the whole Nation.

Where and how can you learn the best Juggad Technology?

Ans: If you learn to procure the question before the examination begins from CBSE, then you have on the right course of learning Juggad Technology.

CBSE Lesson Ten: A Message for Narinder to re-write his book

Who are the examination warriors?

Ans: The Examination Warriors are those who manage to leak the paper before the commencement of the examination.

CBSE Lesson Eleven:

How can the perfection be demonstrated? Option one: Help the students to copy their answers Option Two: Leak the paper so the students prepare their own answers before taking the examination.

Ans: CBSE believes perfection in executing the second option.

 CBSE Lesson Twelve:

Where does the merit lie? Option one: To help the student to write the answers to the question by providing Parchees. Option Two: To leak the paper before the commencement of the examination.

Ans: Obviously, the answer is Option Two.

CBSE Lesson Thirteen:

In whose hands, is the future safe?

 Ans: Youth

In whose hands, is the future of youth?

Ans: CBSE.

In whose hands is the CBSE safe?

Ans: Vicky Donor Tutor

Conclusion:

IIMs of India may start a new course for Post Graduate Diploma in Education Management for the Nation from the next session.

Kindly remain updated for the next edition.

---

---

---

---

Blessed Hema

Bunty: Boby, is not Hema blessed? She is now Empy of Kashi, a gateway to Heaven if one dies there.

Boby: Ya, right.

Bunty: What is so special about Hema?

Boby: She is an accomplished dancer.

Bunty: I have never seen her doing Gidda.

Boby: Dharamji is a culprit. He did not taught her that.

Bunty: Then he might have not told her that if a widow dies in Kashi, she is absolved of all her sins.

Boby: No, she is very smart. She does not want that Parkash Kaur should die there.

Bunty: Hey, you are incredulous in your observation. You are insensitive. This Madrassan is not like that.

Boby: Oh, Sorry, I apologize. Actually, I am Jat Yamala Pagal and Bhondu.

NaMo and Xi Meet

---

Boby: "Why is Modi going so aggressively towards East Asian Countries?
Bunty: Don't you know? He is a Gujarati. He wants to visit California. He is thinking differently.

Boby: Why is Xi shown looking intensely at the face of Modi?

Bunty: Simple man, He wanted to launch a Modi doll. Soon you will find Chinese Modi dolls in the Indian market.

Boby: Why is Chinese Army threatening on the Ladakh boarder?

Bunty: Nothing yaar, They just want to ensure that Indians may not start calling Xi as Bhai. They had been watching Bollywood movies on Bhai log.

---

Why do Doctors hate Apples?

---

---

What advice does a doctor never give to spouse? Ans: Take an apple If a doctor wants to divorce the spouse without saying it, then what would the doctor do? Ans: Buy home Three Kgs of Apple
If a spouse of a doctor does not take any apple and apples rotten then what does that mean? Ans: File a divorce suit or learn to live with an ill spouse.
If a doctor charge hefty fee but recommend only one medicine, then what does that mean? The Pharmaceutical company pays doctor good margin. Do not buy the shares of that company.

---

---

New Apartments wherein Men and Women are Apart

---

---

An advertisement by a builder: Pre Launch offer. Main features of an upcoming apartments. it provides considerable access to necessities like schools, colleges, hospitals, restaurants with better connectivity of rail & road transport.
Vitrified flooring || Designer ceramic finish in all terrace flooring ||Modular Kitchen with full height glazed tiles || Velvet paints of premium quality of interior walls || Paneled main door || Internal doors – commercial veneer finished flush doors || concealed copper wiring || Circuit breaker ELCB || Concealed copper wiring || Intercom system for all flats with round the clock
Special protection for women and from women ensured, Separate covered pool for ladies. Separate parking for ladies to ensure lesser dent to other cars. Separate gym for ladies so that gents may exercise in peace. Rain Dance floor exclusively for women. Separate security guards for women. Separate automatic lift for women.
HDFC Home Loan for them who do not want a susral or maiyka ka ghar but an Apna Gar. Payments can be scheduled with Kitty Party payments or even in form of jewellery. Give Jewellery get apartment, return apartment and get Jewellery.

---

---

Identify the Specie

---

---

Identify the Specie:

He is the Broker of Bombay. What is the time of origin?
He generally appears somewhere around 3.20 pm on every trading day in Mumbai. He also appears occasionally when there is sudden surge in any stock by 10 to 20 percent.
How can this specie be stopped from appearing in stock exchange?
The stock exchange has made arrangement of filters. So whenever they appear, filters get activated and they disappear.

---

---

Apology:
Apology to the person who appears in the snap.
Source of the snap: http://in.reuters.com/article/2013/03/08/mcx-drops-after-large-block-share-sale-idINDEE92705X20130308
Date of access: march 8, 2013.

---

---

Real Politicians at Anna's Learning Path

---

---

The victim of social vices in Delhi in 2012 has been observed as a historic turning point in India. Advani ji says so HERE.

It is a hunch that he is right. It seems that the political books have to be re-written in Delhi after realizing the real import of the act of Delhiwalas.

However, a question arises, that why do political leaders get red when Anna Hazare brand them as redundant creatures? Anna ji, it seems that the politicians are good at learning.

It is great to watch and learn that old people like Advani and Anna are good at learning.

Is it a pro-Active learning? Is it similar to pro-active political moves which Advaniji propounded when he was Deputy Prime Minister? 

---

---

Gabbar's correction to Lokpal

---

---

Gabbar to Reporter: Anna's Lokpal is weak. There is no practical suggestion.

Reporter: How can you say that? What is your suggestion.

Gabbar: There should be Thakur clause in Lokpal Bill.

Reporter: What is that?

Gabbar: See, the way I took away the arms of Thakur, same can be done with all the government servants. When they will not have arms they will not be able to receive the cash.

Constitutional Lokpal

---

---

Rahul is not rightly advised.

Imagine a situation. Rahul's idea of giving constitutional backing to Lokpal materializes. Now if the BJP government comes to the power then what will happen if they appoint Narendra Modi as the Chief Lokpal? Being a constitutional body, then it will not be easy to remove any person occupying a constitutional post without following a tedious procedure. There may be a fixed term.

Well it can also happen, that very soon a case of impeachment of a Lokpal will get recorded in History.

Rahul should get advice from Abhishek Bachchan. But Alas, they are not on talking terms.

Anna Question

---

---

If Anna fails, the amount of bribes will increase. Will it be called Inflation?

---

---

Google Map is the informer

---

---

The Indian Police is really getting high tech.

Was there a site called Bhuvan? Who cares and looks at it. It is the Google Map which rules man.

But police has taught some other lessons to the public. The Public is of the firm belief that Indian police has a knack to make an innocent person to accept a crime which he could not do in next ten births.

There is a popular story about it. It goes like this

Once there was a competition among the police teams of different countries. The police of America, Canada (Mark this country, it has a very clear understanding at least of Punjab Police), UK and India. In the competition, the event was that a tiger was left out in a jungle. The police teams were sent out in the jungle to locate the tiger. So, when the competition begun, first Canadian police was given the chance. A tiger was left out in the jungle and Canadian police was sent behind the beast. The Canadian police brought back the tiger with in twenty four hours.
Then UK police was given the chance to demonstrate their abilities. The UK police returned within eight hours with the tiger. The American Police was sent with the same task. The American police returned with in an hour. (BTW, where is Osama?) . Finally, the Indian police got the chance. They returned after a week along with a monkey. The organizers asked about the tiger. The Indian police told that it was the same tiger who had changed his shape in order to hide.

The police officer from India assured them and said, You can ask him.
Then another Indian Police Officer (Not Sunny Deol) raised his voice and questioned the tiger in his police wala tone, "Tell then who you are."

Then the miracle happened. The monkey roared and spoke.

Money spoke, "Yes sir, I am the same tiger. I have changed my form to hide from them. It is true sir."

The organizers were not impressed. They raised the doubt. The Indian Police Officer pulled out a copy of "Origin of Spices" by Darwin and read out a page where it was written that how in order to survive some species change their forms. The Book was published in India.

With full regards to the Google Search, Google Maps, Google Earth, Google Images, Google Books and last but not the least the Indian police, kindly read out the following post.

Dogs, not Sri Sr Ravi Shankari, were the target - dnaindia.com

The heading is funny. DNA should not choose funny headings.

---

---

---

---

Canons for scaring away mosquitos

---

---

The Pakistan Rangers are right whenever they accuse Indian army unnecessarily shooting back in retaliation. They had been firing canons to SHOO away the mosquitoes and missile for rats.

DGP Ajay Kumar Singh has now a good plot to write a story. After the retirement he should collaborate with Ram Gopal Varma for making some mystery film which later has yet not tried. Ram Gopal Varma has the knack for doing empirical studies. You may remember he visited to see the devastation in Mumbai Taj Hotel just for that.

India is really a land of creative people. The rest of the masses are dumb and bumps. Swami Nityananda should also be given the benefit of his experiments with carnal existence and control over his nerves. Ram Gopal ji, what is there in horror and Bhai logs Ganda hai par Dhanda Hai genre. Here you have a mystery plot. Swami Ischadari Bhima Nanda was actually promoting the Tantric religion. You all must now team up and entertain the masses with some new feature film.

The neighbouring farmer should thank the dogs because he has now VIP invitation from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. He should learn Art of Living from the master himself. It may help him to control the stray dogs and protect his cattle in non-violent manner.

Moral of the Story: All is well.

If anyone has a doubt, he should go for Art of Living.

Jai ho Parasva Nath, Nemi Chand, Mahavira, Buddha, Chandra Gupta (He ended his life in Karnataka), Bindusara, Kautilya, Ashoka and Harsha.

Ajatshatru is not invited.

If you are not able to discern any thing from incoherent lines written above then read the hitched report to develop the premises against which they become meaningful. If you again fail, then read the motive of this blog as given in the title strip. 

---

---

'Firing not aimed at Sri Sri, but to scare away dogs' - Bangalore - City - The Times of India

---

---

Disclaimer and Apology:
It is funtoonist. No offence to professional acumen and spiritual attainments of anyone. Full Regards to them.

---

---

Meaning of Baura and Baukhlana

---

---

I am not interested much today in writing any funtoonist. I am now learning meanings from day to day life. The two words for the day are Baura hona and Baukhlana.

I believe, Laluji has done justice by giving a practical example. You must learn it directly from the elaboration as given by Laluji in the following report.



Lalu calls Ramdev 'crazy'

Now if you have read the paragraph then answer to the context.

Who is Baura in the given paragraph? Marks 100

What is Baukhlana? If the answer is right then you may suffer punishment at the hands of Laluji.

---

---

Bada Kaun

Bada Kaun? Who is senior?

SPG or UP Police.

Read the following news item.
‘Dodging’ Rahul irks state police

The Moral of the Story is that SPG is senior to UP Police.

I am afraid that I am using persona of a leader too often to fill this blog. However it is Funtoonist. No bad feelings for any one. Just pure fun within in some limits though of post-modernist nature.

Dinesh Trivedi Told How Doctors Are Made Corrupt

---

---

Pretending Ignorance when faced with culpable acts, is an art being perfected by most of the Indians. Such performance of act is always made of high sounding moral claims and commitments. Second beauty of such acts is that the performers already knows the cause of the crime and assure you of correcting it. Such performances are generally shown by those who are in power in democratic polity.

The closing paragraphs of the news reports are really convincing. Our ministers know that where corruption is breading. It is in hospitals that everything starts. Children are born at the hands of doctors who are trained to be corrupt because they start their career by paying high capitation fee even when laws are there and Supreme Court judgement is strongly against. Similarly, the patients may not get effected by HIV but definitely corruption flu because when they visit doctor, who is already infected during his Medical college days and he is in his clinic or hospital trying to recover the money which he had paid for his admission.

I have another solution. Their course of studies should be restructured. They should be taught Commerce subject also. Their Degree should be COM B B S.

Trivedi ji, Trivedi is a title not a Gotra. I must suggest you with such in depth understanding of social evils, Shutvedi. Trivedi means three vedas. ShutVedi means Six Vedas.

Now there is possibility of another film. It can Munna Bhai Shutvedi Combi B. B. S.

---

---

Govt probes seat-for-sale scam - India - The Times of India

---

---

---

(It is mere a light hearted fun prompted by following report. No personal grudge. I rather wish success to Respectable Dinesh Trivedi. It is as per the spirit of this blog.)

Prostitutes in Ashokan time a respectable persona

---

---

I and Me also want to join this luscious discussion. I also want to contribute with my history knowledge to the world of literati.

Harish Rai Bachchan forgot to talk about the prostitutes of Mauryan Times. They were employed by the administration. Now one should use the imagination to understand that what could do in a Darbar.

---

Rest, kindly read the following news report.

'Pubs' enjoy exalted position in literature-India-The Times of India

---

---

Shahjahan Soul Seek Remedy from Badal

---

---

---

---

The Tribune, Chandigarh, India - Main NewsCan this Act be called Shahbano or Roshanara Act? Is it an attempt by senior Badal to save his own interests?

---

---

---

Bhang Ka Rang Jama Ho Chaka Chuk

globeandmail.com: A toke a day keeps memory loss at bay

---

---

Dum Maro Dum, Ban Jaoo Akal Mand

---

---

---

Read Telegraph also. They have also joined in.

---

Jai Jai Shiv Shankar, Kanta Lage Naa Kankar

---

---

---

Don was Right: Bhang Ka Rang Jama ho Chaka Chuk

---

---

---

Jai Shiva Butti

---

---

---

But sad, they are going to have patent right on it.

---

---

---

---

Now March to Himanchal. It is official Now.

---

---

---

Moorarji Cola Kit in Space

Endeavour launch harkens new dawn for piss-drinking • The Register

---

---

---

Moorarji Desai, Ex Prime Minister of India, and many other Manav Mutra progtagonists in India had already been supporting the idea of getting the right solution of the the shortage of drinking water. NASA is a slow learner. However, it is said in Hindi, Dayr Aye Darust Aye.

---

---

---

You frown, Your Computer Shiver, You May Frown Again

Medical Breakthrough Allows Computer To Be Controlled By Thought and Face

---

---

It is basically a medical breakthrough which will allow patients with serious brain injuries to make computer work for them.

---

---

The report, I believe can be a great breakthrough as it may be used by even normal people also. They may prefer to use this discovery for their purpose.

---

---

However, there was an interesting ending to this report. The website of Dr Paul Gnanayutham, who has made this discovery, is infected with malware. The site is suppose to give details of the finding. However, it is not accessible due to firewalls. It may injure the brain of your computer. In any case it will bring frown on your face.

---

---